I'm going to die before I reach adulthood, I know it.

[Lord]

I'm naturally healthy and resilient, but I've lived very unhealthily.
I had a very stressful childhood (from the age of eight), ate fast food until I felt terrible (for instance, three big macs) several times a week for years (I got used to it and felt better after a year), have had a near-lethal encounter with e.coli, been dropped in a way that nearly destroyed my liver or something around there when I was 9, have spent some time outside (but have gone months without really being outside in a significant way), spend most of my time in a cold basement, currently no exercise, reached stage 6, nearly 7 of SpunkySkunk347's amphetamine abuse scale (with marijuana abuse), am rarely with people, especially of my age, and my skin seems to be deteriorating. While I'm a bit better now, yesterday my hands became blotched, a bit blue, wrinkly, and very strange, while veins underneath my skin became visible all over my arm and there was blue around my joints. I couldn't masturbate either, as my penis was sensitive to nothing but pain when touched.

I've been experiencing chest pain (around my heart) a few times a day, lasting about a minute, as well. Fuck, I'm unhealthy at 16, I'm going to die if I don't become healthier. I ingested a lot of dextroamphetamine that day and was pretty sleep-deprived, but I didn't even get high on the dex, and that must've had something to do with my skin. And the day before, I turned my mind off and decided to eat and snort a total of close to 50 weak tablets of various drugs, which got me less high than a few bowls of good weed would. It was the first time I got properly high on dex (which I did way before the others), first time I tried valium (20mg), and the first time I tried a bunch of other drugs.

What does it mean when my skin is deteriorating like this? I'm just happy that it's better now, but unfortunately not healthy-looking.

 

[RhythmSpring]

It's never too late to become healthy again. The body has amazing bounce-back potential, if you know what to do. It's very likely you'll live through adulthood, as you seem to be reflecting on your health right now.

a) Stop all drug use. For now. All of it.
b) Eat very healthy: meaning, eat mostly vegetables, some fruits, and nuts and seeds. Going raw/vegan is optimal. Seriously, it makes you feel like a million bucks.
c) Fast. I'm not going to guide you in detail, but it'd behoove you to some serious research on it. Fasting is great for the body.
d) Supplements: B-100, Fish Oil, multivitamin I'd say are rudimentary.

I may post more later, I gotta run.

 

[InvisibleEye]

Your skin condition is totally related to your drug use. While starting a vegan diet might be a little too demanding if you're trying to quit using drugs at the same time, the results are just sensational (especially for your skin). Good luck to you! The fact that you realize how little fun you're getting from am is already a giant step in your recovery. Whenever you'll be craving the amp rush, you'll be able to think about the negative aspects of it instead of glorifying your drug-using days.

 

[Pegasus]

If you keep the mindset that you're going to be like this, what is going to stop it from happening? You have to get it in your head that you're going to be a healthy person if you wish for it to happen.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Talk to a therapist. Cortisol is increased when you're stressed out, and chronic high levels of cortisol lead to a number of physical and mental problems.

If your anxiety is still bad, get on benzodiazepines. Being dependent on benzodiazepines may be bad, but having chronically high levels of cortisol is much worse.

 

[assembled]

My guess is you are deficient in multiple vitamins and nutrients from eating that packaged shit called Maccy D's. It really is a case for a doctor though.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Change your life now and it will be (sort of) like nothing ever happened.

 

[previouslyhere]

you're only 16? you have time to turn it around. you need to start controlling your impulses right now. from what you typed it sounds like you indulge every single urge you have. you're young - learn to set goals and achieve them. you're not going to be able to change everything overnight so don't be discouraged when you start..just keep working at it ...on to the next. the way you're living now is no way to live especially for a 16 year old.

joining a gym would help your physical, mental and social health. getting a job wouldn't hurt either - work sucks but you can learn from it and make some money too.

it sounds like you have too much time on your hands. find positive things to fill that time with and start now...

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Life is whatever you make of it. I didn't believe that til I made something of mine. You have a chance to change. Do it.

 

[Roger&Me]

1. Stop using drugs.

2. Start eating higher-quality food and taking vitamins.

3. Stay hydrated.

4. Make an appointment to see a neurologist. Tell him about your strange vascular symptoms and your preoccupation with death. Be honest about your drug use, and be explicit concerning your medical history. You need to get a decent medical opinion to make sure your symptoms aren't an indicator of an underlying condition (they're probably just drug-related, but its best to get a professional opinion so you can stop worrying).

5. Again: stop using drugs, seriously! Especially amphetamines, they're absolutely brutal.

 

[jholdaw2]

It's pretty common for young people to think they are dying or have some deadly disease, but usually it turns out to be nothing serious. I know there have been many times where I have had such thoughts, but I just keep on living and living and living...You just gotta try. Try to do healthy things. Chances are though, that no matter what you do, you will still live well into your 30s or 40s, unless you happen to have some unfortunate self-inflicted catastrophe like a drug overdose death or something...